Being Bi

“Accept yourself as you are. And that is the most difficult thing in the world, because it goes against your training, education, your culture.” ~ Osho

Some years ago, when I was making my first attempts at coming out as bisexual, I had an honest conversation with several friends about my lifestyle.

I don’t expect anyone to agree with how I live, nor do I need them to validate my choices. But I do believe in being real.

My reason behind coming out was always based on a deep desire to live as authentically as possible. I am responsible for my own integrity, not the reactions of others towards it.

I’ve never been able to forget, however, a particular comment that being attracted to a person of the same sex is a form of narcissism. It threw me then because this was not a homophobic person to my knowledge, and I simply did not see that kind of allegory coming from someone whom I considered broad-minded.

I’m writing about it now because I realized the other day that there were several lessons in that conversation for me.

Lesson One: Never underestimate the power of your words.

In which way did the commentator mean that being gay is narcissistic? The Wikipedia definition of narcissism offers some insight:

“Narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one’s own attributes. The term originated from Greek mythology, where the young Narcissus fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of water. Except in the sense of primary narcissism or healthy self-love, narcissism is usually considered a problem in a person’s or group’s relationships with self and others. ~ Wiki

To extrapolate from this definition, what the person was saying to me was that gay love is a love or sexual orientation that thrives on being so in love with one’s own image that one would then be attracted to someone who reflected that image back.

It was being dismissed as somewhat shallow in nature.

More of my journey here…