*Polyamory: The philosophy or state of being in love or romantically involved with more than one person at the same time.
Polyamory isn’t a fringe topic anymore.
And for the record, it’s not polygamy. But every conversation I’ve had recently about polyamory has had some mention of polygamy, even if it was just a passing joke to make the distinction.
The most frequent comment I hear from readers is that they never thought they would be “one of those people.”
Sally, an executive with a reputation to protect, confessed that she has never felt such freedom in her heart, since she has become romantically involved with two other people.
“You know, everyone assumes it’s about the sex, and of course we’re having it (in spades), but it’s really about finding expression as a human being. I mean, if I fall in love with two people, or three, why am I labeled a freak?”
Because, Sally, we have been programmed to believe that it’s impossible and wrong to intimately love more than one person. The reasons we believe this are complex and connected to the survival of the ego.
Three things to know about poly love:
1.~Poly love must be entered into with the same commitment to honesty, respect, and transparency as any other relationship.
Every relationship is subject to these cornerstones, and just because we swing from the chandelier with more than one lover, doesn’t mean that we can skip honoring our love in this way.
When it comes to dishonesty, don’t accept anything in poly love that you wouldn’t accept in another relationship.
Poly doesn’t mean “no rules” unless you’ve all agreed to it. Even with no rules, we have to observe the other people’s boundaries about having no rules.
If you’re entering into a new poly love and feel that all partners aren’t on the same page about certain requirements, have a discussion about it. If things don’t feel right, don’t do it. Make sure that you state your needs clearly. Often we don’t get what we want from a partner because we have simply failed to ask. If they’re angry because of your honesty, then this is a clue about the longevity of the relationship.
More here my loves, Three Things to Know before Seeking Polyamorous Love. | elephant journal