“I slept and I dreamed that life is all joy. I woke and I saw that life is all service. I served and I saw that service is joy.” ~ Kahlil Gibran
Amanda sat teary eyed in my office, tissues crumpled together in her hand.
“He likes getting it, but when I ask him to do it to me, he says it’s different with women. It’s just not as clean.” I knew what kind of attitude Amanda was talking about, but wanted to hear her partners’ logic anyway.
“Well, my um…parts are open and his are on the outside, and cleaner.”
“Do you believe that?” I asked, feeling unprofessionally agitated.
“Well, he’s kinda right, but still, I wish he’d do it.”
“Has he ever tried, and furthermore, do you like it?”
“He has, but it’s no good, I keep thinking about what he said and he’s done in a couple of seconds anyway. I never cum.”
I usually dispensed advice about nutrition, but today and on many other days, I was the confessional. What this couple suffered from is just one example of oral pleasures gone wrong. In real life bedrooms (as opposed to porn scenarios where everybody is tickled pink to go down on each other for hours) the question is still—is it better to give or receive?
I’ll admit from the get go that for me, oral sex is an integral part of connecting with a lover. Incredibly intimate, it’s a delicious encounter that delivers much more than physical stimulation.